Angrez Jokes

Ek Angrez ko raat me bahut machhar

kaat rahe the…

Usne gusse mein lights off kar di, taki

Machhar use dhondh na paayen.

Tabhi room mein ek jugnu aaya.

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Angrez: Ohhhh no!!! India ka macchar

sala ab torch leke dhund raha hai.

Angrez Jokes

Wife sms

Duniya K 2 sabse Mushkil Kaam

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1-Apni baat Kisi Aur Ke dimag Me Fit Krna..!

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2- Kisi Aur Ka Paisa Apni Jeib Mein shift karna!

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Jo Pehle Me Kamyab Hota Hai, Usey

“Teacher”Kehte Hai,

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Jo Dusre Me Kamyab Hota Hai, Usey “Business

Man” Kahte hai

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Aur Jo Dono Me Kamyab

Hoti Hai Usey…

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“WIFE” Kahte Hain.

Wife sms

Paplu chillaya

Nurse ne baby ko Paplu ke haath mein diya..

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Woh kushi se chillaya:”Betaaa-aa hua!

Betaaa-aa hua!

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Nurse chillai: “Abbe andhe ki aulad LADKI hui

hai…

Meri ungli chhod.

Paplu chillaya

written on an old man’s T-shirt

It was written on an old man’s

T-shirt:

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“I am not 60″

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“I am 18 with 42 years of

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experience”

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That’s Attitude

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Think Different

written on an old man’s T-shirt

when a girl asks you to guess her age

when a girl asks you to guess her

age ,

its like deciding ..

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… .

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whether to cut the blue , red,or green

wire to diffuse a bomb.

when a girl asks you to guess her age

Paplu opened a Fb A/C

Paplu opened a Fb A/C,

He posted pics, age, address

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Finally,

he was confused abt what he can

write on ‘Wall’

Aftr deep thinking he wrote on Wall

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“Yaha SuSu Karna Mana Hai.

Paplu opened a Fb A/C

Really a Killer Joke

Really a Killer Joke:

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Ek Aadmi K Daant Me Keeda Lag

Gya,

Wo Doctor K Paas Gya to Doctor

Bola- 4 Din Subah-Shaam

Doodh- Biscuit Lo & 5ve Din Sirf

Doodh

Lo,

Keeda Jaroor Nikal Jayega.

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Usne 4 Din Doodh-Biscuit Liye

Aur

5ve Din Sirf Doodh Piya, Keeda Bahar Nikla Or

Bola Aaj

Biscuit Nahi H Kya.?

Really a Killer Joke

Effect of Facebook

Effect of Facebook…

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Teacher:”Batao Parle-G par Jo

Green dot bana

hota hai Uska kya matlab hota hai.. ??

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Student:”Sir iska matlab hai Ki Parle sahab abhi

Online hain..

Effect of Facebook

Great line

Great line

“Jab garib ki thali me pullav aya…

Samjo ki desh me chunav aya

Great line

Holi sms

मैं गया सुसराड़

नया कुर्ता गाड़

दाढ़ी बनवाई बाल रंग्वाए

रेहड़ी पर ते संतरे तुलवाए

हाथ मैं दो किलो फ्रूट

मैं हो रया सुटम सूट

फागन का महिना था

आ रया पसीना था

पोहंच गया गाम मैं

मीठे मीठे घाम मैं

सुसराड़ का टोरा था

मैं अकड में होरा था

साले मिलगे घर के बाहर

बोले आ रिश्तेदार आ रिश्तेदार

बस मेरी खातिरदारी शुरू होगी

रात ने खा पीके सोगया तडके मेरी बारी शुरू होगी

सोटे ले ले शाहले आगी

मेरे ते मिठाईया के पैसे मांगन लागी

दो दो चार चार सबने लगाये

पैसे भी दिए और सोटे भी खाए

साली भी मेरी मुह ने फेर गी

गाढ़ा रंग घोल के सर पे गेर गी

सारा टोरा होगया था ढिल्ला ढिल्ला

गात होगया लिल्ला लिल्ला गिल्ला गिल्ला

रहा सहा टोरा साला ने मिटा दिया

भर के कोली नाली में लिटा दिया

साँझ ताहि देहि काली आँख लाल होगी

बन्दर बरगी मेरी चाल होगी

बटेऊ हाडे तो नु हे सोटे खावेगा

बता फेर होली पे हाडे आवेगा

मैं हाथ जोड़ बोल्या या गलती फेर

नहीं दोहराऊंगा

होली तो के मैं थारे दिवाली ने

भी नहीं आउंगा.

Holi sms

Holi Wishes

Blue is song

Yellow is music

Green is dance

Red is beauty

White is love

And pink is for joy

I wish all these colours

May fall on you and your family.

“HAPPY HOLI”!

Holi Wishes

Difference between Love marriage and Arrange marriage

The great difference between

Love marriage

and

Arrange marriage:

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Love marriage mein apni gf se shadi

hoti hai

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&

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Arrange marriage me dusre ki gf se

shadi hoti hai!!.

Difference between Love marriage and Arrange marriage

During examz

During examz..!!

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Dost Barabar likh rha hai..!!

2nd frnd continously saying,

”Kamine kuch bta de”

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1st frnd Reply : Mujhe khud

kuch Nh aata hai..

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2nd frnd’s Ultimate Answer : Toh apne

baap ko luv letter likh rha hai kya..?

During examz

Classical insult

Classical insult

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GIRL:- meri 1-1 saans pe 1-1ladka marta hai.

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BOY:- to tum koi accha satoothpaste istimaal

kyo nahi karti..  

Girl shock- Boy Rock

Classical insult

Ultimate Bezzatti

Ultimate Bezzatti 

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Boy: I Had A Dream About You! 

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Girl: AAaaWwwwwwwww!

So Cute…!!!  

What Was That?

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Boy: You Died

Ultimate Bezzatti

I will be back in 5 mints

A Girl’s “I will be Ready in5 mints”

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And

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A Boy’s “I will be back in 5 mints”

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both are equal…

I will be back in 5 mints

Techer-1869 Me Kya Hua

Techer-1869 Me Kya

Hua

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Chunnu-Gandhi Ji Ka Janm

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Techer-Gud! Baith Jao

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Techer(Pappu Se)-Btao

1872 Me Kya Hua

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Papplu-Gandhi Ji 3 Saal K Ho Gaye

Techer-1869 Me Kya Hua

Pappu English exam me Fail ho gaya

Pappu English exam me Fail ho gaya translation

ki wajahse

1.Me ek Aam admi hu -I am amango man

2.Mujhe English aati hai

-English comes to me

3.Me haripur hazara se hu

-I belong to Green pur Thousanda

4.Sadak par goliyan chal rahi hai

-Tablets are walking on the

road…

Hahaha ab pata chala apna pappu pass kyu

nahi hota.

Pappu English exam me Fail ho gaya

Shaadi karne ke baad

Shaadi karne ke baad or naya mobile

kharidne ke baad 1 hi baat ka afsos rehta hai ki

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Kaash

Kuch din or ruk jaate to achha model mil

jaata.

Shaadi karne ke baad

Ek ladka TRAIN me chadne laga

Ek ladka TRAIN me chadne laga

Akashwani hui:” Isme mat chadh ye patri se utar

jayegi..

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PLANE me chadne laga Aawaj aayi:” Ye crash

ho jayega..”

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BUS me aawaj aayi:” Ye khai me gir jayegi..”

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Ladka gusse se: “Kaun hai Yaar..???

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Aawaz aai:”GOD”

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Ladka:” Engineering me jab admission le raha

tha,

tab tumhara gala baith gaya tha

kya..???

Ek ladka TRAIN me chadne laga

Mind blasting fact of Rajnikant

Mind blasting fact of Rajnikant.

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British wale sab 1947 me kyu desh chodkar chale

gaye????????????????????????????????????

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socho

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socho socho.

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kyuki unhe pata chal gaya tha ki 1948 me

Rajnikant ka born hone wala hai!!!!!!!!!!

Mind it

Mind blasting fact of Rajnikant

Nobody in the world can stop u

Nobody in the world can stop u from falling in

love….

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But…???

2 Powerful weapons can do that..

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Mummy’s Chappal

Daddy’s Belt

Exclusively Made in India.

Nobody in the world can stop u

Kid from washroom to his mother

Kid from washroom to his mother:

Mama Kar leeeeeeeeeee 

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Mama: Ullu k pathy khud dhoo..

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Kid: Jab dhula nai sakty to khilaty kyun

hooooo 

Kid from washroom to his mother

Exam mein Teacher To Santa

Exam mein Teacher To Paplu:

Isko Hindi mein translate karo

“She is kidding”

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Paplu hansne laga aur bola.

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itna asaan

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Wo Bachche De Rahi Hai! 

Exam mein Teacher To Santa

4 boys on bike

4 boys on bike.

Police:” triple riding is banned aur tum 4

baithe ho.. ??

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Boys shocked..

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Look behind..

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and says:” saalo 5wa kaha gir gya.. ??

4 boys on bike

Punjab Police wala challan book khol ke

Punjab Police wala challan book khol ke: Naam Das apna ??

Boy-”Trikullavetty Thekeparambati Mutthuswami”

Police wala book band krke :-

“Agge toh gaddi hauli chalaai

Punjab Police wala challan book khol ke

Ladkiyo Ki Specialty

Ladkiyo Ki Specialty …

UK: Dressing

Spain: Beautiful

America: Stylish

Brazil: Hot

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Indian :

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Kuch Ho Na Ho

Par ATTITUDE Ki Koi Kami Nahi

Mile Gi

Ladkiyo Ki Specialty

A frndship story

A frndship story:

1st frnd: Dekh maine nya mobil liya..

2nd frnd: Waah, chal party de fir me tuze gift duga.

Sham ko wo hotel gye.

(after dinner)

2nd frnd: Tumne hotel me khane ka intzam kaise kiya.?

1st frnd: Mobile bechke..

Teri khushi se badhkar thodi ku6 hai.?

2nd frnd: saale, mujhe pata tha, tu aisa hi krega..

Isliye maine tera becha hua mobile us dukan se le liya tha… Le tera gift..!

“Zindagi me Dost nhi, Dosto me Zindagi hai”

its a really true friendship

A frndship story

Santa : O yaar car ki speed itni kyon badha di

Santa : O yaar car ki speed itni kyon

badha

di?

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Banta: O car ki break fail ho gayi hai,

accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar

pahunch jaate

hain….!

Santa : O yaar car ki speed itni kyon badha di

Doctor to Patient

Doctor : Agar aap patient ko ek ghante pehle le aate to hum ise bacha sakte the !!!

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PAPLU ( Relative of Patient ) : EK ghante pehle kya  le aate,

accident to sala 10 minute pehle hua hai.

Doctor to Patient

Lo bhai haryane aala

Lo bhai haryane aala:

एक बार एक सरदार कुए में पड़गा और रुक्के

मारण लाग गया,

बचाओ-बचाओ.

उडे के एक जाट जावे था..

उसने बचाओ- बचाओ की आवाज़ सुनी और

कुए के पास जाकर बोल्या :-कौन ह भाई,

सरदार बोल्या :-अस्सी हाँ,

जाट बोल्या अक भाई एक-दो होते तो काढ

देता 80 अपने पे कोना लिकडे.

Lo bhai haryane aala

Kaash ki bachpan me hi tujhe maang leta

Kaash ki bachpan me hi tujhe maang leta

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Ae dilruba.

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Har chij mil jati thi do ansu bahane se.

Kaash ki bachpan me hi tujhe maang leta

I love you Maa

Mujhe to Apne Hath ki

har ek

Ungli se Bahut Pyaar hai

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Naa-jane “MAA” ne kaunsi Ungli

Pakad kar Chalna Shikhaya hoga!

I love you Maa

A worst feeling

A worst feeling..!!

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When you can’t love anyone else,

because your heart still belongs to the one,

who broke it.

A worst feeling

1 Ladki Bus Stand Pe Khadi Thi

1 Ladki Bus Stand Pe Khadi Thi…..

1 Ladka Bike Pe Jatta Hai…’

Vapas Ata Hai Or

Uss Ladki Se Puchta Hai

Pehchana Kya ???

Ladki :”Nahi Toh

Ladka :”Kya Yaar,

Abhi To Samne Se Gya Tha.

1 Ladki Bus Stand Pe Khadi Thi

Santa calls FM Radio

Santa calls FM Radio- I’ve found Mr. Mohan Gupta’s wallet wid Rs.15000.

RJ-So u wnt 2 retrn it.

Santa- nhi Re paglee, chala de Bechare k liye koi sad song.

Santa calls FM Radio

Gabbar - Are O Sambha kitne aadmi the

Gabbar – Are O Sambha kitne aadmi the?

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Sambha – Pata nahi sarkar mai to Ladkiya dekh raha tha.

Gabbar - Are O Sambha kitne aadmi the

यूँ ही जिंदगी की कशमकश में

“यूँ ही जिंदगी की कशमकश में

थोड़ा उलझ गये हैं यारों,

वरना हम तो दुश्मनों को भी अकेला महसूस होने नहीं देते!”

यूँ ही जिंदगी की कशमकश में

Don't be afraid to change

Don’t be afraid to change

 

 

You may lose something good but you may gain something better

Don't be afraid to change

Don't Fear the enemy who attacks you

Don’t Fear the enemy who attacks you

 

 

Fear the fake friends who hugs you.

Don't Fear the enemy who attacks you

FACEBOOK FEVER

FACEBOOK FEVER -

A Guy Updates His Status -

‘ I’m Gonna Sleep On Terrace Tonight ‘

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7O Mosquitoes ‘Liked’ His Status.

FACEBOOK FEVER

Tu Mera Dil Ban Ja

Tu Mera Dil Ban Ja, Meri Jaan Ban Ja;

Meri Arzu Ban Ja, Mera Armaan Ban Ja;

Bandaron Vaali Harkatein Chod De Ab Tu;

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Aur Thoda Sudhar Ja, Aur Insaan Ban Ja!

Tu Mera Dil Ban Ja

मछली जल की रानी है,

मछली जल की रानी है,

अब पेश है नए अंदाज़ में:

पत्नी घर की रानी है,

करती अपनी मनमानी है,

काम बताओ तो चिढ जायेगी,

शॉपिंग कराओ तो खिल जायेगी।

मछली जल की रानी है,

Tum 3 din say kaam pay nhi aee aur bataya bhi nhi

Malkin to Naukrani:: Tum 3 din say kaam pay nhi aee aur bataya bhi nhi

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Nukarani:: Bibi ji…maine FB par status update to kiya thaa

“GOING TO GAOU” for 3 day’s aur

sahib ji nay comment bhe kiya tha..

Missing you sweetheart.

Tum 3 din say kaam pay nhi aee aur bataya bhi nhi

2 dost safar pe ja rahe the

2 dost safar pe ja rahe the

Raaste me raat hogai aur wo TENT laga k so Gaye

RAAT ko 1 dost ki ankh khuli, usne dusre ko jaga

k kaha

“Asman ki tarf dekh k bataa tujhe kya nazar aa

raha hai” ???

2nd dost: “Bahut saare sitaare”

1st Dost: “Is se kya pata chalta hai”

2nd Dost: “Aasman saaf hai, baarish nahi hogi”

1st Dost: “Abe Newton ki aulaad,

Tent chori ho gaya hai..

2 dost safar pe ja rahe the

Kuwara party

Iss saal ka elections is by Kuwara party like..! Narendra Modi,Rahul Gandhi, Mamata Bannerji,Jayalalita,Mayavati & Anna Hazare.

desh ka bhavishya sirf kuvara vyakti hi badal sakta hai kyu ki,shaadi shuda to TV ka channel bhi apani marji se nahi badal sakta.

Kuwara party