Facebook conversation

Facebook conversation…!!

Me: hi

She: hi

me: What’s your name?

She: Palak, and you?

Me: Paneer

*BLOCKED*

Facebook conversation

Teacher: "Aaj pehli baar tum class me baat kar rahi ho

Teacher: “Aaj pehli baar tum class

me baat kar rahi ho..

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hamesha tum nazre jhukake meri

baate sunti thi kya ho gya hai

tumhe.. ??

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Pinky:” sir ji net pack khatm ho

gya hai..

Teacher: "Aaj pehli baar tum class me baat kar rahi ho

Democratic difference between USA & INDIA

Democratic difference between USA & INDIA :

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Americans can kiss in public but cannot shit …Indians can shit in public but cannot kiss

Democratic difference between USA & INDIA

1 ladka Pee K Ghar lauta

1 ladka Pee K Ghar lauta.

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Dad se bachne k liye

LAPTOP kholkar padhne laga.

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Dad: pi K Aaya H?

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Son: Nahi To

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Dad: fir suitcase khol k kya padh raha hai?.

1 ladka Pee K Ghar lauta

Aurate 3 prakaar ki hoti hain.

Aurate 3 prakaar ki hoti hain…

Ek jiske bina aap reh nahi sakte…

Dusari jo aapke bina reh nahi sakti…

& Tisari…

jiske saath aap rehate ho

Aurate 3 prakaar ki hoti hain.

Santa laboratory person ke pass gaya

Santa laboratory person ke pass gaya aur bola: bhai kuch

help chahiye

laboratory person: haan bolo?

aur santa ne Apni davai ki bottle me se ek chamach

laboratory person ko pila ke pucha:

meetha hai kya?

laboratory person: nahi to, kyu kya hai ye.

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Santa: bas yahi puchna tha, doctor ne kaha tha ki

laboratory person ke paas jakar

URINE Test karwa kar pata karo ki URINE me sugar

hai ke nahi.

Santa laboratory person ke pass gaya

What's app Not working

What’s app Not working  .

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Foreigner’s mentality : “Dude,google it….let’s see what’s the matter….”

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Indian Mentality : ” switch off karke On karle chal padega

What's app Not working

Boy asked his dad 4 a bike.

Boy asked his dad 4 a

bike.

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Dad :- why did god give

u 2 legs ?

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Boy :- one to change

gear &

other

to apply break.”

Boy asked his dad 4 a bike.

Police to Sardar

Police : *Knock knock*

Sardar : kaun hai ?

Police : Police!  Darwaza kholo.. tum se sirf baat karni hai.

Sardar : tum log kitne ho ?

Police : 3.

Sardar: toh aapas mein baat karlo na.

Police to Sardar

Teacher-How many planets are there

Teacher-How many planets are there?

Santa -Mercury, Venus, Jupiter vagerah. Vagerah

Teacher-Aur batao?

Santa-Aur bas …sab badhiya!!! Ekdum

Mata raani ki kripa….

Aap sunao…??

Teacher-How many planets are there

Doctor to Patient

Dr: Kaise aana hua?

Patient: Doctorsaab tabiyat theek nahi hain

Dr: Sharab peete ho?

Patient: Peeta to hoon, par chhota peg hi banana. I’m not feeling well

Doctor to Patient

White House receptionist to OBAMA

White House receptionist to OBAMA..

“Sir..someone has called up but not speaking anything”

OBAMA – Tell him Namaste !!

He must be Manmohan Singh from INDIA

White House receptionist to OBAMA

Heart melting love story

Heart melting love story:

Boy: I can’t marry u.

My family is totally against it.

Girl: Who r they 2 stop u?

Boy: My wife & 2 kids.

Heart melting love story

A guy calls an unknown number

A guy calls an unknown number..

Guy: Fridge hai?

Reply: Haan hai.

Guy: Chalta hai?

Reply: Haan chalta hai..

Guy: Toh pakad ke rakhna, warna bhaag jaayega..

And he hangs up.. After a while, he calls up again..

Guy: Fridge hai?

This time the person’s really angry.

Reply: Nahi hai.

Guy: Kahaan se hoga.. Bola tha na pakad ke rakhna varna bhaag jaayega

A guy calls an unknown number

Boy: pen hai

Boy:” pen hai ??

Girl:” nahi..

Thodi der baad..

Boy:” pen hai ??

Girl:” nahi bola na..

Boy:” pen hai pen ??

Girl:” nahi hai kaminey, aur abki bar pucha to

to hathode se sar phod dungi

Kuch der baad…

Boy:” hathoda hai kya..???

Girl:” nahi..

Boy:” accha.. to phir pen hai pen..???

Boy: pen hai

Ladkiyo ki scooty pe bhale 2 ki jagah 4 brakes hi lagwa do

Ladkiyo ki scooty pe bhale 2 ki jagah

4 brakes hi lagwa do..

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Rokengi pairo se hi.

Ladkiyo ki scooty pe bhale 2 ki jagah 4 brakes hi lagwa do

Hamara Bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai

Manager :-

Hamara Bank aapko bina interest ke

loan de raha hai

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Paplu-Jab dene mein interest hi nahi

hai to kyon de rahe ho?

Nahi chahiye!

Hamara Bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai

Santa : Pados mein kya chal raha he

Santa : Pados mein kya chal raha he ?

Paplu : Birthday hai.

Santa : Kiska ?

Paplu : “Tuyu ka.”

Santa ne puchha, “Tuyu?”

Paplu : “Ha! Sunai to kuch aisa hi de raha hai…

- Happy Birthday Tuyu! 

Santa : Pados mein kya chal raha he

Jise Koyal Samjhe, Woh Kauwa Nikla

Jise Koyal Samjhe, Woh Kauwa Nikla;

Dosti Ke Naam Par Hauwa Nikla

Jo Rokte Thay Humein Sharaab Peene Se;

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Aaj Unhi Ki Jeb Se Pauwa Nikla!

Jise Koyal Samjhe, Woh Kauwa Nikla

kal raat sabhi kaidiyo ne jail me Ramayan Play kiya

Constable – Sir,

kal raat sabhi kaidiyo ne jail me Ramayan Play

kiya

tha…

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Jailor – Ye to achhi baat he,

isme itne pareshan Q ho rahe ho?

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Constable – Sir Tensn yehe ke,

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Hanuman bana kaidi abhi tak sanjivni lekar

wapas

nahi aaya.

kal raat sabhi kaidiyo ne jail me Ramayan Play kiya

A Friend who stands with you

A Friend who stands with you in “Pressure” is far more valuable than 100 Friends who stand with you in “Pleasure”

A Friend who stands with you

Santa - I love you..marry me

Santa – I love you..marry me..

Girl – Are you mad..?

Santa – Is that the criteria?

Santa - I love you..marry me

Mat sona kisi ke kandhe par sar rakhkar

Mat sona kisi ke kandhe par sar rakhkar…

kyuki jab vo bichadte toh phir makhmal ke takiye par bhi neend nahi aati !

Mat sona kisi ke kandhe par sar rakhkar

Thoughts

The most successful business man of India give best quote for successes in life.

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“If you don’t build your dream, someone else will hire you to help them build theirs.

Thoughts

Boy ki engagement

Boy ki engagement 1 bohut Khubsurat Ladki se fix hui…

Woh dono pure din rat whatsapp se baat kiya karte rehte the.

Akhir vo raat aahi gaiiii……………………….

ush raat ladka , ladki ka ghoonghat uthaakar bola….

.”Tum wakai hi bahut khubsurat ho… Tumhe kya gift karu.. .

Ladki sharmati hui boli….. -:.

Adle hafte dammu tatmir tale…..”.

MORAL:-Kam se kam ek call toh kar lena chahiye tha. Bus dekh liya whats app ka natija Ab ja dammu tatmir.

Boy ki engagement

Aisa nhi k ye zindgi buri hai

Aisa nhi k ye zindgi buri hai,

Par school or college life ki baat kuch aur thi..

Aisa nhi k ab hasi nahi aati,

Par dosto me beth kr khilkhilane wali bat Kuch aur thi..

Aisa nhi k ab tension se raat nhi guzarti,

Par exams ki raato me jagne wali bat Kuch aur thi..

Aisa nhi k aage aa kar kuchh hasil na kiya ho,

Par passing marks le kar party udane wali bat Kuch aur

thi…

Aisa nhi h ki ab logo ko jante pehchante nahi,

but woh dur se ‘kamine rukk’ bolke dost ko awaz dene ki baat hi kuch aur thi..

Aisa nahi hai ki ab tiffin share nahi karte,

but canteen mein kisi aur ke plate se chheen ke khane ki baat kuch aur thi..

Aisa nhi k ab zindgi nahi kat rahi hai,

Par dosto me Zindgi jine ki baat hi kuch or thi..

Dedicated to all My Dear Friends who are in their busy schedules of jobs n businesses..

Aisa nhi k ye zindgi buri hai

Funny Thoughts

Bachpan me hum waha sona pasand karte the jaha se chand tare dikhe…

Aur aaj waha jaha charger laga sake.

Funny Thoughts

Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt

Best Slogan on a MAN’s T-Shirt :

“Please Do Not Disturb me,

I am Married and already very Disturbed

Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, “the food looks delicious, let’s eat.”

Wife: honey…..you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband: that’s at home sweetheart……here the chef knows how to cook.

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant

Facebook bought whatsaap in 19$ Billion

Facebook bought whatsaap in 19$ Billion and Instagram in 1$ Billion.

 

 

 

When it was available for free on the App store.

Facebook bought whatsaap in 19$ Billion

Ek Aadmi ne conductor se pucha

Ek Aadmi ne conductor se pucha: Aap kitne ghante bus me rehte ho ?

Conductor: 24 hours.

Aadmi: Wo kaise?

Conductor: 8 ghante city bus me, Baaki 16 ghante biwi ke “BASME”

Ek Aadmi ne conductor se pucha

The Trouble With The World Is That

The Trouble With The World Is That,

The Stupids Are Full Of Confidence

And

The Intelligent Are Full Of Doubts.

The Trouble With The World Is That

एक डॉक्टर ने नया क्लीनिक खोला

एक डॉक्टर ने नया क्लीनिक खोला।

थोड़ी देर बाद एक आदमी आया।

डॉक्टर ने अपने आपको व्यस्त दिखाने के लिए, फोन का रिसीवर उठाया और अपॉइंटमेंट देने के अंदाज़ में बोलने लगा।

फिर फोन रखने के बाद।

डॉक्टर आदमी से,”हाँ, आप बतायें क्या हुआ है?”

आदमी: बीएसएनएल (BSNL) से आया हूँ, टेलीफोन एक्टिवेट करने के लिए।

एक डॉक्टर ने नया क्लीनिक खोला

Tujhe Mujhse Mujko Tujse Jo Bahut Hi Pyar Hota

Tujhe Mujhse Mujko Tujse Jo Bahut Hi Pyar Hota;

Na Tujhe Qaraar Hota Na Mujhe Qaraar Hota;

Tera Har Marz Ulajhta Meri Jaan-E-Natwaan Se;

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Jo Tujhe Zukaam Hota, To Mujhe Bukhaar Hota!

Tujhe Mujhse Mujko Tujse Jo Bahut Hi Pyar Hota

परीक्षा के दौरान

परीक्षा के दौरान!

अध्यापिका पप्पू से: तुम इतने परेशान क्यों हो?

पप्पू ने कोई जवाब नहीं दिया।

अध्यापिका: क्या हुआ, क्या तुम अपना पेन भूल आये हो?

पप्पू फिर चुप।

अध्यापिका ने फिर से सवाल किया: रोल नंबर भूल गए हो?

पप्पू इस बार भी चुप।

अध्यापिका फिर से: हुआ क्या है, कुछ तो बताओ क्या भूल गए?

पप्पू गुस्से से: ओये! चुप कर मेरी माँ, यहाँ मैं पर्ची गलत ले आया हूँ और तुझे पेन-पेंसिल और रोल नंबर की पड़ी हुई है

परीक्षा के दौरान

A person is silent.. doesn't mean

Just because a person is silent.. doesn’t mean that he is not aware of fun and joy.

It’s possible that life has taught him some serious lessons

May be he is….

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Married.

A person is silent.. doesn't mean

GF: Where R You

GF: Where R You … ?

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PAPlU: I’m At Bank.

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GF: I Need 30,000 For New Cell

Phone & 10,000 For New Mini Skirts.

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PAPlU: Sorry, I Mean I’m At ‘Blood Bank ‘

“KHOON PIYEGI KHOON”..

GF: Where R You

Mehman aa rahe hain or ghar me Daal k siva kuch nai

Wife:”Mehman aa rahe hain or ghar me Daal k siva kuch nai .

Husband:”Jab wo aaye to kitchen me 1 bartan girana,

Me pochu to kehna KORMA gir gaya.. .

Phir dosra bartan girana, kehna BiRYANi gir gai..

fir Me kahuga chalo Daal hi le aao…:p

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Mehmano k aane k bad Bartan girne ki awaaz aai.. .

Husbnd:”Kya hua.. ??

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Wife: “Oh teri ki…….. Daal hi gir gai ..

Mehman aa rahe hain or ghar me Daal k siva kuch nai

Pta Nhi Log Propose Kaise Kar Lete Hai.

Pta Nhi Log  Propose Kaise Kar Lete Hai.

 

 

 

Mujhe to pani puri khane ke baad sukhi papdi mangne me bhi sharam aati hai.

Pta Nhi Log Propose Kaise Kar Lete Hai.

For delhi peopel

For delhi peopel =))

College Clerk: Beta yeh form tumne galat bhar diya hai. Yahaan address nahin naam likhna tha..

Student : Vikas Puri mera naam hi hai jee

College Clerk: Achha aur pita ka naam ?

Student:Janak Puri

College Clerk: Achha Dadaji ka naam ?

Student: Trilok Puri

College Clerk: Hey Bhagwaan beta jaate jaate apni maaji ka naam bhi bata do

Student: Maya Puri

College Clerk: Main yeh sub nahin maanta. koi aaya he tumhare saath family se tumhari admission ke liye.

Student: Ji mera bara bhai yeh..

College Clerk : Aapka naam  ?

Bhai  : Govind Puri…

For delhi peopel

एक बै रलदू आपणे दोस्त गेल्याँ चर्च मेँ चला ग्या

एक बै रलदू आपणे दोस्त गेल्याँ चर्च मेँ

चला ग्या….

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अचानक लाईट भाज गी अर अंधेरा हो ग्या…

जिबे चर्च का घण्टा बजा, टन्न्न्नन्न….

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रलदू चिल्ला के बोल्या : ओह ! तेरी

की अण्डरटेकर आ ग्या….

एक बै रलदू आपणे दोस्त गेल्याँ चर्च मेँ चला ग्या

Solid Insult

Solid Insult

Ek Bachcha Park mein Bench pe betha tha aur 1 k bad 1 Toffee kha raha tha.

Pas bethi 1 Aunty boli : Jyada meetha khane wale

jaldi mar jate hai.

Boy : Aap ko malum hai meri Dadi ki age 106 Saal

thi.

Aunty : Wo meetha kam khati hongi.

Boy : Nahi…!!! Wo apne Kaam se Kaam rakhti thi..

Solid Insult

Banta Singh

Aaj fir Banta ne Kamaal Kr diya..

BANK me jake So Gya.

Q?

Usne Board Par Padha >

Yaha SONE par LOAN milta Hai.

Banta Singh

Hindi Shayari

wo mere dil pe rkh k sir soi thi bekhabar humne dhadhkan hi rok li ki kahi uski nind na tut jaye..

Hindi Shayari

Many types mills in India like

Many types mills in India like:

1. Sugar mill.

2. Cloth mill.

but most popular in india

Saale baahar mill.

Many types mills in India like

Paplu First Day School Gaya

Paplu First Day School Gaya

Teacher : Aaj Aapka first day hai, kuch puchna hai to puch sakte ho..

Paplu : ye Holidays kab se shuru ho rahi hai

Paplu First Day School Gaya

Paplu Jokes

Paplu First Day School Gaya

Teacher : Aaj Aapka first day hai, kuch puchna hai to puch sakte ho..

Paplu : ye Holidays kab se shuru ho rahi hai

Test Post from smsjokesmasti

Test Post from smsjokesmasti http://www.smsjokesmasti.com

Teacher Student Jokes

Techer- pani me rahne vale 5 jiv batao.?
Student- mendak.
Tech- very good, baki char bolo. . 
Student- uski maa ,
uska baap , 
uski behan aur 
uska bhai

For More latest jokes visit www.smsjokesmasti.com