Me Teasing A Girl : Ae Chalti Kya?
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Girl : Kaha?
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Me : Wherever You Say…
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Girl : Ok Lets Go Shopping.
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Me : Kasam Se Didi Aapke Saath
To Mazak Karna Bhi Gunaah Hai.
Girl and b0y were sitting
in the garden,
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Girl: kuch aisa kah0 k
dhadkan tez h0 jaye,
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B0y: bhaag saali tera
baap aa raha hai
BeST quote by a Nursary student .
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i love to walk in the rain…
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becOz nobOdy can see i am doing susu in my
chaddi
Sardar wounded in an accident goes to a doctor
Dr:Stitches lagana padenge
Sarder:Kitne paise ..
Dr 3000 Rs
Sardar:Sir stitches lagwana hai, embroidery nahin
karwani
Bitter Truth..
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“Everyone wants to Park his Vehicle in Shadow but
No
One wants to Plant a Tree”
Ek ladki mujhse boli
tum bahut mast post kartee ho..
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Maine kaha to fir tum like
kyu nhi kartii..??
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vo boli: – Nhi yaar main to har post 2-2 bar like
kartiii
hu..
Ek KAALI Ladki Ko Jaadugar Ne Jaadu Se Pankh
Uga Diye,,
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LADKI : Are Wah M PARI Ban Gayi
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Pichhe Se Ek Ladka Bola:
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Nahi Re Tu To CHAMKADAD Ban Gayi
Interesting Indian Cricketer’s Names:
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-Ravi Shas3
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-Mahendra Sing 2ni
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-100Rav Ganguly
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-Sachin 10Dulkar
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-VVS 1,00,000Sman
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-Mun1/2 Patel.
When your phone battery is at 1%
and you are running to the phone charger like-.
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“Mere saath reh bhaai..
aankhe band mat karna..
tujhe main kuch nhi hone dunga!”
Paplu : Aaj maine pani ko ullu bnaya
Banta : Kaise?
Paplu: maine nahane k liye pani garam kiya or thande pani se hi nha liya.
Dear fb girls Apse se ek request he
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Apni ID and PASSWORD apney bf ko nahi
bataya
karo
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wo hum shareef baccho ke msgs padhkar..
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hume BLOCK kar dete he
Teacher: “Aaj pehli baar tum class me baat kar
rahi ho..
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hamesha tum nazre jhukake meri baate sunti thi
kya ho gya hai tumhe.. ??
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Pinky:” sir ji net pack khatm ho gya
hai..  :D:D
Duniya Me 2 Network
Sabse Fast Hai..
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1. Email
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2. Female
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1 Minute Me Idhar Ki Baat
Udhar Pohcha Deti Hai
A bird was disturbing a girl all the
time.
Finally she caught it & decided to
kill it cruelly.
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She took it to the top of a building
& dropped it.
“After all Girls are so
intelligent”
Modi meets Rajinikanth. Rajinikanth assures him BJP will not only win in India but also in America, Russia, France, China, Spain, Japan
Heights Of Talent.. xD
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Dad: I want u 2 marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
..
Dad: The girl is Bill Gates’daughter.
.Son: Then ok
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Dad goes 2 Bill Gates
Dad: I want ur daughter 2 marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
..
Dad: My son is d CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Then ok
.
.
Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank..
Dad: Apoint my son as the CEO of ur bank.
President: No!
..
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then ok!
Agar koi Ladki make-up kr k,
Sajdhaj kr,
new dress pehan kar
shaadi, party, ya kisi function me ja
rahi ho
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Toh samajh lo
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Nxt day ya to uski profile pic change hogi
ya
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relationship status
LALU ke peeche kutte ka bachha padh gaya,
Lalu bhagte bhagte bole,
hum to bsnl ka card dalwaya hun,
Sasura vodafone ka network kaise pakad raha he?
Student: Sir Gandhi Ji Ke Sar Pe Baal kyon Nahi
The?
Sir: Intelligent Logo Ki Nishani Hai,
Student: Han Tabi To Ladkion Ke Itne Lambe Baal
Hote Hain
Murga aur Murgi ki Love Story
Murga:I Love u,I can doAnything 4u
Murgi:U can Do anything 4 me
Murga:Yes of course.
Murgi: toh ek anda de kDikha
NEW TEACHER : all students introduce ur
name
and hobbies!
..
1st boy : my name is Pankaj nd my hobby is
watching moon
..
2nd boy : my name is satym and hobby is
watching moon
..
3rd boy: my name is Love & my hobby is
watching moon
.
.
all boys told their different names but
hobby was
same
TEACHER : good all boys have same hobby
now its girl’s turn,
.
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1st girl : hi my name is moon
3 KAALE Dost Ek Saath Jaa
Rahe
The..
..
Raaste Me Ek PARI Milti
Hai, . Pari:” Ek-Ek Wish Batao
Main Poori Karugi..”
.
.
1st:” Mujhe GORA Aur
Khubsurat Kardo..” Pari Ne Kar Diya..
..
2nd:” Mujhe Bhi Aisa Kar
Do..”
Pari Ne Kar Diya..
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3rd Zor Zor Se Hasne Laga Aur
Phir Bola…
.
.
“Inko Wapas Pehle Jaisa
Kardo..
..
Moral:” Har Ek Friend
Kamina
Hota Hai.
Teacher: 1 Book + 1 Book?
.
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Paplu: 2 Books
.
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Teacher: 2 Books + 2 Books?
.
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Paplu: 4 Books
.
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Teacher: (Hun ik aukha question)!
61,789,365 Books + 23,678,989 Books??
.
.
Paplu: its LIBRARY mam .
..
Que: kya papu pas ho payega ? Â
Boy’s Depression
.
.
- Business Slow Chal raha h..
- Payment nahin aa rahi h..
- Credit card ka bill pay krna h ..
- Family ki demands poori krni h..
.
.
Grl’s Depression
- Profile Pic. change kiye 15 min…… ho
gye abhi tk ek bhi
like ya comment nhi aaya h
pata nhi sbko recent Updates m dikh
rha h k nhi.
The Happiest moment
for today’s generation
is..
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Battery Full. Please
Unplug the
Charger ..
Boy:- Main 18 Saal ka hoon or tum.. ??
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Girl:- Main bhi 18 Saal ki hoon.. ??
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Boy:- To Phir chal na Sharmana kya
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Girl:- kaha ??
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Boy:- VOTE Dene
“SOCH BADLO DESH BADLEGA”.
Mind blasting fact of Rajnikant.
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.
British wale sab 1947 me kyu desh 6odkar chale
gaye?
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.
socho
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socho socho.
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kyuki unhe pata chal gaya tha ki 1948 me
Rajnikant ka born hone wala hai!
Mind it
Woh mujhe milkar royi itna ki
.
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Uski naak ka bulbula dekh k meri
hansi nikal gayiÂ
.
.
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Fir kya..Ho gya break-up.! isi baat
par
Marte sharabhi se bhagwan ne pucha,
Koi antim icha.
Sharabi: aane wale janam me
Daant bhale hi ek dena,
Par liver 32 dena 1 dete ho,
Sla jaldi kharab ho jata h.
Sardar sir k sath sath kandho par
Bhi shampu laga raha tha.
Wife-kandho pe shampu kyo laga rahe ho?
Sardar- ye koi aam shampu nahi hai
Ye Head & Shoulder hai..
Dukandar se Chota Bacha: Uncle
rang gora karne wali Cream hai?
.
Dukandar: Haan hai,
.
.
Baccha: To saale lagata kyu nahi,
Main ROZ darr Jata hu
Boy:”Mujhe 1 bottle blood dedo..
.
.
Nurse:”Blood group bolo..
.
Boy:”Koi b chlega..
.
Nurse:”Kaise chalega.. ??
.
.
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Boy:”Girlfriend ko love letter likhna hai.
Bhikhari:”Bhaijan ek rupaiya de
do..
.
Paplu:”Kal aana
.
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.
Bhikhari:”Iss kal kal ke chakkar
mein iss colony mein mere lakhon rupaiye fasse hue
hai.
Biwi Market se Loti Pati:”Mera Andaza ye keh raha Hai Ki is Box Me Koi Khane Ki Cheez Hai..
.
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Patni:”Are wah mere Pati- Parmeshwar Aap Ne Bilkul Sahi Andaza Lagaya
.
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.
.
Is Me Mere Sendal Hai…Â Â Â
Husband Shocked..
Ek tym tha jab Bill Gates ne American bank se
10,0000 Lacs ka loan manga tha but American
bank ne voh Laon refusekr dia tha
..
orrr 2001 me Bill gates ne vo bank hi khreed lia..
.
.
.
.
.
.
1 aaj ka din hai ICICI walone mera 15,000/- ka
loancancel kia hai
.
.
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
naa jiii naa maf karne kaa toh swal hi paida nhi
hota
INDIA Is A Place Where..
Any’1 Driving Faster Than You Is..
“Saala Yeh Pakka Marega”
.
Any’1 Driving Slower Than You Is
“Saala kutta, Gaadi Chalani Nahi Aati
Ise” !!
.
And
Any’1 Driving Parallel To You Is
.
.
.
“Apne Baap Se Race Lagayega Tu
Santa Bank me paise jama karane gaya.
Cashier-
Tumhare Note nakli hai.
Santa:-
Tujhe kya farak padata hai?
Jama to Mere Account me ho rahe hai na
If you are getting
blank calls
repeatedly,
do not panic ….
it is only
Manmohan Singh
campaigning for Congress
LADY 2 haryana police: ji mera gharwala 5 din pehla gobbi len gya tha, ib tk ni aya
Haryana police: fer k hoya, koi or sabji banale, jruri hai gobbi banani.’
Cute answer when a girl asked
her ex-boyfriend:
Girl: Do u still love me?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy: Pyar ka to pata nahi,
lekin mere dost aaj bhi mujhe
teri kasam dete
hain..!!
Kid 2 Mom:” 10 Rs Dena, Bahar 1 Garib Ko
Dene Hen..
.
.
.
Mom:” Kaha Hai Garib.. ??
.
.
.
Kid:” Bechra Bahar Dhup Me Kulfiyan Bech
Raha Hai…
Ek Angrez ko raat me bahut machhar
kaat rahe the…
Usne gusse mein lights off kar di, taki
Machhar use dhondh na paayen.
Tabhi room mein ek jugnu aaya.
.
.
.
.
Angrez: Ohhhh no!!! India ka macchar
sala ab torch leke dhund raha hai.
Duniya K 2 sabse Mushkil Kaam
.
1-Apni baat Kisi Aur Ke dimag Me Fit Krna..!
.
2- Kisi Aur Ka Paisa Apni Jeib Mein shift karna!
.
.
Jo Pehle Me Kamyab Hota Hai, Usey
“Teacher”Kehte Hai,
.
Jo Dusre Me Kamyab Hota Hai, Usey “Business
Man” Kahte hai
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aur Jo Dono Me Kamyab
Hoti Hai Usey…
.
.
.
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.
.
“WIFE” Kahte Hain.
Nurse ne baby ko Paplu ke haath mein diya..
.
.
.
Woh kushi se chillaya:”Betaaa-aa hua!
Betaaa-aa hua!
.
.
.
.
Nurse chillai: “Abbe andhe ki aulad LADKI hui
hai…
Meri ungli chhod.
It was written on an old man’s
T-shirt:
.
.
.
“I am not 60″
.
.
.
.
“I am 18 with 42 years of
.
.
.
.
experienceâ€
.
.
.
That’s Attitude
.
.
.
.
Think Different
when a girl asks you to guess her
age ,
its like deciding ..
.
.
.
… .
.
.
.
.
.
.
whether to cut the blue , red,or green
wire to diffuse a bomb.
Paplu opened a Fb A/C,
He posted pics, age, address
.
.
.
Finally,
he was confused abt what he can
write on ‘Wall’
Aftr deep thinking he wrote on Wall
.
.
.
.
.
.
“Yaha SuSu Karna Mana Hai.
Really a Killer Joke:
.
.
Ek Aadmi K Daant Me Keeda Lag
Gya,
Wo Doctor K Paas Gya to Doctor
Bola- 4 Din Subah-Shaam
Doodh- Biscuit Lo & 5ve Din Sirf
Doodh
Lo,
Keeda Jaroor Nikal Jayega.
.
.
Usne 4 Din Doodh-Biscuit Liye
Aur
5ve Din Sirf Doodh Piya, Keeda Bahar Nikla Or
Bola Aaj
Biscuit Nahi H Kya.?
Effect of Facebook…
.
.
Teacher:”Batao Parle-G par Jo
Green dot bana
hota hai Uska kya matlab hota hai.. ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
Student:”Sir iska matlab hai Ki Parle sahab abhi
Online hain..
मैं गया सà¥à¤¸à¤°à¤¾à¤¡à¤¼
नया कà¥à¤°à¥à¤¤à¤¾ गाड़
दाà¥à¥€ बनवाई बाल रंगà¥à¤µà¤¾à¤
रेहड़ी पर ते संतरे तà¥à¤²à¤µà¤¾à¤
हाथ मैं दो किलो फà¥à¤°à¥‚ट
मैं हो रया सà¥à¤Ÿà¤® सूट
फागन का महिना था
आ रया पसीना था
पोहंच गया गाम मैं
मीठे मीठे घाम मैं
सà¥à¤¸à¤°à¤¾à¤¡à¤¼ का टोरा था
मैं अकड में होरा था
साले मिलगे घर के बाहर
बोले आ रिशà¥à¤¤à¥‡à¤¦à¤¾à¤° आ रिशà¥à¤¤à¥‡à¤¦à¤¾à¤°
बस मेरी खातिरदारी शà¥à¤°à¥‚ होगी
रात ने खा पीके सोगया तडके मेरी बारी शà¥à¤°à¥‚ होगी
सोटे ले ले शाहले आगी
मेरे ते मिठाईया के पैसे मांगन लागी
दो दो चार चार सबने लगाये
पैसे à¤à¥€ दिठऔर सोटे à¤à¥€ खाà¤
साली à¤à¥€ मेरी मà¥à¤¹ ने फेर गी
गाढ़ा रंग घोल के सर पे गेर गी
सारा टोरा होगया था ढिलà¥à¤²à¤¾ ढिलà¥à¤²à¤¾
गात होगया लिलà¥à¤²à¤¾ लिलà¥à¤²à¤¾ गिलà¥à¤²à¤¾ गिलà¥à¤²à¤¾
रहा सहा टोरा साला ने मिटा दिया
à¤à¤° के कोली नाली में लिटा दिया
साà¤à¤ ताहि देहि काली आà¤à¤– लाल होगी
बनà¥à¤¦à¤° बरगी मेरी चाल होगी
बटेऊ हाडे तो नॠहे सोटे खावेगा
बता फेर होली पे हाडे आवेगा
मैं हाथ जोड़ बोलà¥à¤¯à¤¾ या गलती फेर
नहीं दोहराऊंगा
होली तो के मैं थारे दिवाली ने
à¤à¥€ नहीं आउंगा.
Blue is song
Yellow is music
Green is dance
Red is beauty
White is love
And pink is for joy
I wish all these colours
May fall on you and your family.
“HAPPY HOLIâ€!
The great difference between
Love marriage
and
Arrange marriage:
.
.
.
Love marriage mein apni gf se shadi
hoti hai
.
.
&
.
.
.
.
.
Arrange marriage me dusre ki gf se
shadi hoti hai!!.
During examz..!!
.
.
Dost Barabar likh rha hai..!!
2nd frnd continously saying,
”Kamine kuch bta de”
.
.
1st frnd Reply : Mujhe khud
kuch Nh aata hai..
.
.
2nd frnd’s Ultimate Answer : Toh apne
baap ko luv letter likh rha hai kya..?
Classical insult
.
.
GIRL:- meri 1-1 saans pe 1-1ladka marta hai.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
BOY:- to tum koi accha satoothpaste istimaal
kyo nahi karti.. Â
Girl shock- Boy Rock
Ultimate BezzattiÂ
.
.
.
Boy: I Had A Dream About You!Â
.
.
Girl: AAaaWwwwwwwww!
So Cute…!!! Â
What Was That?
.
.
.
.
.
Boy: You Died
A Girl’s “I will be Ready in5 mintsâ€
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. .
.
A Boy’s “I will be back in 5 mintsâ€
.
both are equal…
Techer-1869 Me Kya
Hua
??
.
.
Chunnu-Gandhi Ji Ka Janm
.
.
Techer-Gud! Baith Jao
.
.
.
.
Techer(Pappu Se)-Btao
1872 Me Kya Hua
.
.
.
.
.
Papplu-Gandhi Ji 3 Saal K Ho Gaye
Pappu English exam me Fail ho gaya translation
ki wajahse
1.Me ek Aam admi hu -I am amango man
2.Mujhe English aati hai
-English comes to me
3.Me haripur hazara se hu
-I belong to Green pur Thousanda
4.Sadak par goliyan chal rahi hai
-Tablets are walking on the
road…
Hahaha ab pata chala apna pappu pass kyu
nahi hota.
Shaadi karne ke baad or naya mobile
kharidne ke baad 1 hi baat ka afsos rehta hai ki
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kaash
Kuch din or ruk jaate to achha model mil
jaata.
Ek ladka TRAIN me chadne laga
Akashwani hui:” Isme mat chadh ye patri se utar
jayegi..
.
.
PLANE me chadne laga Aawaj aayi:” Ye crash
ho jayega..”
.
.
BUS me aawaj aayi:” Ye khai me gir jayegi..”
.
.
Ladka gusse se: “Kaun hai Yaar..???
.
.
Aawaz aai:”GOD”
.
.
Ladka:” Engineering me jab admission le raha
tha,
tab tumhara gala baith gaya tha
kya..???
Mind blasting fact of Rajnikant.
.
.
British wale sab 1947 me kyu desh chodkar chale
gaye??????????????????????????
.
.
.
socho
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
socho socho.
.
.
.
.
.
.
kyuki unhe pata chal gaya tha ki 1948 me
Rajnikant ka born hone wala hai!!!!!!!!!!
Mind it
Nobody in the world can stop u from falling in
love….
.
.
But…???
2 Powerful weapons can do that..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mummy’s Chappal
Daddy’s Belt
Exclusively Made in India.
Kid from washroom to his mother:
Mama Kar leeeeeeeeeeeÂ
.
.
Mama: Ullu k pathy khud dhoo..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kid: Jab dhula nai sakty to khilaty kyun
hoooooÂ
Exam mein Teacher To Paplu:
Isko Hindi mein translate karo
“She is kiddingâ€
.
.
.
.
.
Paplu hansne laga aur bola.
.
itna asaan
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wo Bachche De Rahi Hai!Â
4 boys on bike.
Police:” triple riding is banned aur tum 4
baithe ho.. ??
.
.
Boys shocked..
. .
.
Look behind..
.
.
. .
.
.
and says:” saalo 5wa kaha gir gya.. ??
Punjab Police wala challan book khol ke: Naam Das apna ??
Boy-”Trikullavetty Thekeparambati Mutthuswami”
Police wala book band krke :-
“Agge toh gaddi hauli chalaai
Ladkiyo Ki Specialty …
UK: Dressing
Spain: Beautiful
America: Stylish
Brazil: Hot
.
.
.
Indian :
.
.
.
.
.
Kuch Ho Na Ho
Par ATTITUDE Ki Koi Kami Nahi
Mile Gi
A frndship story:
1st frnd: Dekh maine nya mobil liya..
2nd frnd: Waah, chal party de fir me tuze gift duga.
Sham ko wo hotel gye.
(after dinner)
2nd frnd: Tumne hotel me khane ka intzam kaise kiya.?
1st frnd: Mobile bechke..
Teri khushi se badhkar thodi ku6 hai.?
2nd frnd: saale, mujhe pata tha, tu aisa hi krega..
Isliye maine tera becha hua mobile us dukan se le liya tha… Le tera gift..!
“Zindagi me Dost nhi, Dosto me Zindagi hai”
its a really true friendship
Santa : O yaar car ki speed itni kyon
badha
di?
.
.
. .
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
Banta: O car ki break fail ho gayi hai,
accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar
pahunch jaate
hain….!
Doctor : Agar aap patient ko ek ghante pehle le aate to hum ise bacha sakte the !!!
.
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PAPLU ( Relative of Patient ) : EK ghante pehle kya  le aate,
accident to sala 10 minute pehle hua hai.
Lo bhai haryane aala:
à¤à¤• बार à¤à¤• सरदार कà¥à¤ में पड़गा और रà¥à¤•à¥à¤•à¥‡
मारण लाग गया,
बचाओ-बचाओ.
उडे के à¤à¤• जाट जावे था..
उसने बचाओ- बचाओ की आवाज़ सà¥à¤¨à¥€ और
कà¥à¤ के पास जाकर बोलà¥à¤¯à¤¾ :-कौन ह à¤à¤¾à¤ˆ,
सरदार बोलà¥à¤¯à¤¾ :-असà¥à¤¸à¥€ हाà¤,
जाट बोलà¥à¤¯à¤¾ अक à¤à¤¾à¤ˆ à¤à¤•-दो होते तो काढ
देता 80 अपने पे कोना लिकडे.
Kaash ki bachpan me hi tujhe maang leta
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Ae dilruba.
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Har chij mil jati thi do ansu bahane se.
Mujhe to Apne Hath ki
har ek
Ungli se Bahut Pyaar hai
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Naa-jane “MAA” ne kaunsi Ungli
Pakad kar Chalna Shikhaya hoga!
A worst feeling..!!
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When you can’t love anyone else,
because your heart still belongs to the one,
who broke it.
1 Ladki Bus Stand Pe Khadi Thi…..
1 Ladka Bike Pe Jatta Hai…’
Vapas Ata Hai Or
Uss Ladki Se Puchta Hai
Pehchana Kya ???
Ladki :”Nahi Toh
Ladka :”Kya Yaar,
Abhi To Samne Se Gya Tha.
Santa calls FM Radio- I’ve found Mr. Mohan Gupta’s wallet wid Rs.15000.
RJ-So u wnt 2 retrn it.
Santa- nhi Re paglee, chala de Bechare k liye koi sad song.
Gabbar – Are O Sambha kitne aadmi the?
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Sambha – Pata nahi sarkar mai to Ladkiya dekh raha tha.
“यूठही जिंदगी की कशमकश में
थोड़ा उलठगये हैं यारों,
वरना हम तो दà¥à¤¶à¥à¤®à¤¨à¥‹à¤‚ को à¤à¥€ अकेला महसूस होने नहीं देते!”
Don’t be afraid to change
You may lose something good but you may gain something better
Don’t Fear the enemy who attacks you
Fear the fake friends who hugs you.
FACEBOOK FEVER -
A Guy Updates His Status -
‘ I’m Gonna Sleep On Terrace Tonight ‘
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7O Mosquitoes ‘Liked’ His Status.
Tu Mera Dil Ban Ja, Meri Jaan Ban Ja;
Meri Arzu Ban Ja, Mera Armaan Ban Ja;
Bandaron Vaali Harkatein Chod De Ab Tu;
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Aur Thoda Sudhar Ja, Aur Insaan Ban Ja!
मछली जल की रानी है,
अब पेश है नठअंदाज़ में:
पतà¥à¤¨à¥€ घर की रानी है,
करती अपनी मनमानी है,
काम बताओ तो चिढ जायेगी,
शॉपिंग कराओ तो खिल जायेगी।
Malkin to Naukrani:: Tum 3 din say kaam pay nhi aee aur bataya bhi nhi
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Nukarani:: Bibi ji…maine FB par status update to kiya thaa
“GOING TO GAOU” for 3 day’s aur
sahib ji nay comment bhe kiya tha..
Missing you sweetheart.
2 dost safar pe ja rahe the
Raaste me raat hogai aur wo TENT laga k so Gaye
RAAT ko 1 dost ki ankh khuli, usne dusre ko jaga
k kaha
“Asman ki tarf dekh k bataa tujhe kya nazar aa
raha hai” ???
2nd dost: “Bahut saare sitaare”
1st Dost: “Is se kya pata chalta hai”
2nd Dost: “Aasman saaf hai, baarish nahi hogi”
1st Dost: “Abe Newton ki aulaad,
Tent chori ho gaya hai..
Iss saal ka elections is by Kuwara party like..! Narendra Modi,Rahul Gandhi, Mamata Bannerji,Jayalalita,Mayavati & Anna Hazare.
desh ka bhavishya sirf kuvara vyakti hi badal sakta hai kyu ki,shaadi shuda to TV ka channel bhi apani marji se nahi badal sakta.
Facebook conversation…!!
Me: hi
She: hi
me: What’s your name?
She: Palak, and you?
Me: Paneer
*BLOCKED*
Teacher: “Aaj pehli baar tum class
me baat kar rahi ho..
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hamesha tum nazre jhukake meri
baate sunti thi kya ho gya hai
tumhe.. ??
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Pinky:” sir ji net pack khatm ho
gya hai..
Democratic difference between USA & INDIA :
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Americans can kiss in public but cannot shit …Indians can shit in public but cannot kiss
1 ladka Pee K Ghar lauta.
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Dad se bachne k liye
LAPTOP kholkar padhne laga.
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Dad: pi K Aaya H?
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Son: Nahi To
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Dad: fir suitcase khol k kya padh raha hai?.
Aurate 3 prakaar ki hoti hain…
Ek jiske bina aap reh nahi sakte…
Dusari jo aapke bina reh nahi sakti…
& Tisari…
jiske saath aap rehate ho
Santa laboratory person ke pass gaya aur bola: bhai kuch
help chahiye
laboratory person: haan bolo?
aur santa ne Apni davai ki bottle me se ek chamach
laboratory person ko pila ke pucha:
meetha hai kya?
laboratory person: nahi to, kyu kya hai ye.
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Santa: bas yahi puchna tha, doctor ne kaha tha ki
laboratory person ke paas jakar
URINE Test karwa kar pata karo ki URINE me sugar
hai ke nahi.
What’s app Not working  .
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Foreigner’s mentality : “Dude,google it….let’s see what’s the matter….”
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Indian Mentality : ” switch off karke On karle chal padega
Boy asked his dad 4 a
bike.
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Dad :- why did god give
u 2 legs ?
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Boy :- one to change
gear &
other
to apply break.â€
Police : *Knock knock*
Sardar : kaun hai ?
Police : Police! Â Darwaza kholo.. tum se sirf baat karni hai.
Sardar : tum log kitne ho ?
Police : 3.
Sardar: toh aapas mein baat karlo na.
Teacher-How many planets are there?
Santa -Mercury, Venus, Jupiter vagerah. Vagerah
Teacher-Aur batao?
Santa-Aur bas …sab badhiya!!! Ekdum
Mata raani ki kripa….
Aap sunao…??
Dr: Kaise aana hua?
Patient: Doctorsaab tabiyat theek nahi hain
Dr: Sharab peete ho?
Patient: Peeta to hoon, par chhota peg hi banana. I’m not feeling well
White House receptionist to OBAMA..
“Sir..someone has called up but not speaking anything”
OBAMA – Tell him Namaste !!
He must be Manmohan Singh from INDIA
Heart melting love story:
Boy: I can’t marry u.
My family is totally against it.
Girl: Who r they 2 stop u?
Boy: My wife & 2 kids.
A guy calls an unknown number..
Guy: Fridge hai?
Reply: Haan hai.
Guy: Chalta hai?
Reply: Haan chalta hai..
Guy: Toh pakad ke rakhna, warna bhaag jaayega..
And he hangs up.. After a while, he calls up again..
Guy: Fridge hai?
This time the person’s really angry.
Reply: Nahi hai.
Guy: Kahaan se hoga.. Bola tha na pakad ke rakhna varna bhaag jaayega
Boy:” pen hai ??
Girl:” nahi..
Thodi der baad..
Boy:” pen hai ??
Girl:” nahi bola na..
Boy:” pen hai pen ??
Girl:” nahi hai kaminey, aur abki bar pucha to
to hathode se sar phod dungi
Kuch der baad…
Boy:” hathoda hai kya..???
Girl:” nahi..
Boy:” accha.. to phir pen hai pen..???
Ladkiyo ki scooty pe bhale 2 ki jagah
4 brakes hi lagwa do..
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Rokengi pairo se hi.
Manager :-
Hamara Bank aapko bina interest ke
loan de raha hai
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Paplu-Jab dene mein interest hi nahi
hai to kyon de rahe ho?
Nahi chahiye!
Santa : Pados mein kya chal raha he ?
Paplu : Birthday hai.
Santa : Kiska ?
Paplu : “Tuyu ka.”
Santa ne puchha, “Tuyu?”
Paplu : “Ha! Sunai to kuch aisa hi de raha hai…
- Happy Birthday Tuyu!Â
Jise Koyal Samjhe, Woh Kauwa Nikla;
Dosti Ke Naam Par Hauwa Nikla
Jo Rokte Thay Humein Sharaab Peene Se;
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Aaj Unhi Ki Jeb Se Pauwa Nikla!
Constable – Sir,
kal raat sabhi kaidiyo ne jail me Ramayan Play
kiya
tha…
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Jailor – Ye to achhi baat he,
isme itne pareshan Q ho rahe ho?
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Constable – Sir Tensn yehe ke,
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Hanuman bana kaidi abhi tak sanjivni lekar
wapas
nahi aaya.
A Friend who stands with you in “Pressure” is far more valuable than 100 Friends who stand with you in “Pleasure”
Santa – I love you..marry me..
Girl – Are you mad..?
Santa – Is that the criteria?
Mat sona kisi ke kandhe par sar rakhkar…
kyuki jab vo bichadte toh phir makhmal ke takiye par bhi neend nahi aati !
Boy ki engagement 1 bohut Khubsurat Ladki se fix hui…
Woh dono pure din rat whatsapp se baat kiya karte rehte the.
Akhir vo raat aahi gaiiii……………………
ush raat ladka , ladki ka ghoonghat uthaakar bola….
.”Tum wakai hi bahut khubsurat ho… Tumhe kya gift karu.. .
Ladki sharmati hui boli….. -:.
Adle hafte dammu tatmir tale…..”.
MORAL:-Kam se kam ek call toh kar lena chahiye tha. Bus dekh liya whats app ka natija Ab ja dammu tatmir.
Aisa nhi k ye zindgi buri hai,
Par school or college life ki baat kuch aur thi..
Aisa nhi k ab hasi nahi aati,
Par dosto me beth kr khilkhilane wali bat Kuch aur thi..
Aisa nhi k ab tension se raat nhi guzarti,
Par exams ki raato me jagne wali bat Kuch aur thi..
Aisa nhi k aage aa kar kuchh hasil na kiya ho,
Par passing marks le kar party udane wali bat Kuch aur
thi…
Aisa nhi h ki ab logo ko jante pehchante nahi,
but woh dur se ‘kamine rukk’ bolke dost ko awaz dene ki baat hi kuch aur thi..
Aisa nahi hai ki ab tiffin share nahi karte,
but canteen mein kisi aur ke plate se chheen ke khane ki baat kuch aur thi..
Aisa nhi k ab zindgi nahi kat rahi hai,
Par dosto me Zindgi jine ki baat hi kuch or thi..
Dedicated to all My Dear Friends who are in their busy schedules of jobs n businesses..
Bachpan me hum waha sona pasand karte the jaha se chand tare dikhe…
Aur aaj waha jaha charger laga sake.
Best Slogan on a MAN’s T-Shirt :
“Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed
A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, “the food looks delicious, let’s eat.”
Wife: honey…..you say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: that’s at home sweetheart……here the chef knows how to cook.
Facebook bought whatsaap in 19$ Billion and Instagram in 1$ Billion.
When it was available for free on the App store.
Ek Aadmi ne conductor se pucha: Aap kitne ghante bus me rehte ho ?
Conductor: 24 hours.
Aadmi: Wo kaise?
Conductor: 8 ghante city bus me, Baaki 16 ghante biwi ke “BASME”
The Trouble With The World Is That,
The Stupids Are Full Of Confidence
And
The Intelligent Are Full Of Doubts.
à¤à¤• डॉकà¥à¤Ÿà¤° ने नया कà¥à¤²à¥€à¤¨à¤¿à¤• खोला।
थोड़ी देर बाद à¤à¤• आदमी आया।
डॉकà¥à¤Ÿà¤° ने अपने आपको वà¥à¤¯à¤¸à¥à¤¤ दिखाने के लिà¤, फोन का रिसीवर उठाया और अपॉइंटमेंट देने के अंदाज़ में बोलने लगा।
फिर फोन रखने के बाद।
डॉकà¥à¤Ÿà¤° आदमी से,”हाà¤, आप बतायें कà¥à¤¯à¤¾ हà¥à¤† है?”
आदमी: बीà¤à¤¸à¤à¤¨à¤à¤² (BSNL) से आया हूà¤, टेलीफोन à¤à¤•à¥à¤Ÿà¤¿à¤µà¥‡à¤Ÿ करने के लिà¤à¥¤
Tujhe Mujhse Mujko Tujse Jo Bahut Hi Pyar Hota;
Na Tujhe Qaraar Hota Na Mujhe Qaraar Hota;
Tera Har Marz Ulajhta Meri Jaan-E-Natwaan Se;
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Jo Tujhe Zukaam Hota, To Mujhe Bukhaar Hota!
परीकà¥à¤·à¤¾ के दौरान!
अधà¥à¤¯à¤¾à¤ªà¤¿à¤•à¤¾ पपà¥à¤ªà¥‚ से: तà¥à¤® इतने परेशान कà¥à¤¯à¥‹à¤‚ हो?
पपà¥à¤ªà¥‚ ने कोई जवाब नहीं दिया।
अधà¥à¤¯à¤¾à¤ªà¤¿à¤•à¤¾: कà¥à¤¯à¤¾ हà¥à¤†, कà¥à¤¯à¤¾ तà¥à¤® अपना पेन à¤à¥‚ल आये हो?
पपà¥à¤ªà¥‚ फिर चà¥à¤ªà¥¤
अधà¥à¤¯à¤¾à¤ªà¤¿à¤•à¤¾ ने फिर से सवाल किया: रोल नंबर à¤à¥‚ल गठहो?
पपà¥à¤ªà¥‚ इस बार à¤à¥€ चà¥à¤ªà¥¤
अधà¥à¤¯à¤¾à¤ªà¤¿à¤•à¤¾ फिर से: हà¥à¤† कà¥à¤¯à¤¾ है, कà¥à¤› तो बताओ कà¥à¤¯à¤¾ à¤à¥‚ल गà¤?
पपà¥à¤ªà¥‚ गà¥à¤¸à¥à¤¸à¥‡ से: ओये! चà¥à¤ª कर मेरी माà¤, यहाठमैं परà¥à¤šà¥€ गलत ले आया हूठऔर तà¥à¤à¥‡ पेन-पेंसिल और रोल नंबर की पड़ी हà¥à¤ˆ है
Just because a person is silent.. doesn’t mean that he is not aware of fun and joy.
It’s possible that life has taught him some serious lessons
May be he is….
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Married.
GF: Where R You … ?
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PAPlU: I’m At Bank.
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GF: I Need 30,000 For New Cell
Phone & 10,000 For New Mini Skirts.
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PAPlU: Sorry, I Mean I’m At ‘Blood Bank ‘
“KHOON PIYEGI KHOON”..
Wife:”Mehman aa rahe hain or ghar me Daal k siva kuch nai .
Husband:”Jab wo aaye to kitchen me 1 bartan girana,
Me pochu to kehna KORMA gir gaya.. .
Phir dosra bartan girana, kehna BiRYANi gir gai..
fir Me kahuga chalo Daal hi le aao…:p
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Mehmano k aane k bad Bartan girne ki awaaz aai.. .
Husbnd:”Kya hua.. ??
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Wife: “Oh teri ki…….. Daal hi gir gai ..
Pta Nhi Log  Propose Kaise Kar Lete Hai.
Mujhe to pani puri khane ke baad sukhi papdi mangne me bhi sharam aati hai.
For delhi peopel =))
College Clerk: Beta yeh form tumne galat bhar diya hai. Yahaan address nahin naam likhna tha..
Student : Vikas Puri mera naam hi hai jee
College Clerk: Achha aur pita ka naam ?
Student:Janak Puri
College Clerk: Achha Dadaji ka naam ?
Student: Trilok Puri
College Clerk: Hey Bhagwaan beta jaate jaate apni maaji ka naam bhi bata do
Student: Maya Puri
College Clerk: Main yeh sub nahin maanta. koi aaya he tumhare saath family se tumhari admission ke liye.
Student: Ji mera bara bhai yeh..
College Clerk : Aapka naam ?
Bhai : Govind Puri…
à¤à¤• बै रलदू आपणे दोसà¥à¤¤ गेलà¥à¤¯à¤¾à¤ चरà¥à¤š मेà¤
चला गà¥à¤¯à¤¾….
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अचानक लाईट à¤à¤¾à¤œ गी अर अंधेरा हो गà¥à¤¯à¤¾…
जिबे चरà¥à¤š का घणà¥à¤Ÿà¤¾ बजा, टनà¥à¤¨à¥à¤¨à¥à¤¨à¤¨à¥à¤¨….
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रलदू चिलà¥à¤²à¤¾ के बोलà¥à¤¯à¤¾ : ओह ! तेरी
की अणà¥à¤¡à¤°à¤Ÿà¥‡à¤•à¤° आ गà¥à¤¯à¤¾….
